Afraid to Give What We Want

hand holding flowers through fence.jpg

What we hold back from others is the usually the single thing we need the most for ourselves. Have you ever thought about this? We keep what we're afraid to giveaway for fear it won't come back -- or be reciprocated. We avoid letting go of our gifts -- our human connection with others and withhold them from people in our lives. It's heartbreaking that often these offerings are kept from those closest to us.

Have you stopped encouraging your friend because she rarely celebrates your accomplishments? Do you withhold affection from your spouse since they don't seem to notice that you'd love a hug after a long day? Are you afraid to give/tithe/share/donate because your family is struggling? The reason you avoid going to a party/celebration/event is that the other attendees didn't come to yours?

We keep what we're afraid to lose as a defense mechanism for our tender heart and all the feelings that go with it. We build a fence around our brain, our vulnerability (and between our relationships) to deflect all the bad thoughts. If we don't share, or engage, or celebrate others - then we tell ourselves we won't be disappointed (as much) when they don't do the same for us.

Think about what you hold back from others...or maybe what you keep from just that one person. What do you withhold from them to shield yourself from pain, discomfort or sorrow? Would you be willing to break the cycle and dare to give it away?